Video Games: 9 Tips for Healthy Moderation this Summer

Posted July 11, 2019

Author: Dr. Kristin Condon

Summertime is here – the season for beaches, baseball, and dreaded battles over screen time. With the unstructured days of summer break, kids are often lured into more engagement with screens, especially when the start of dry, warm weather is delayed like it has been this year in Chicago. As parents, it can be tough navigating how to set and sustain limits required by highly alluring, stimulating video games or the 24/7 pace of social media competing for your child’s involvement.

The risks of excessive gaming and limitless screen time are clear. According to Dr. Joseph Austerman, Director of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at Cleveland Clinic Children’s Hospital, excessive screen time can take a physical and mental toll. In addition to increased loneliness and mood disorders, “We see that kids that sit down and are in front of the screen more often than not are more obese [and] have a more sedentary lifestyle, which predisposes them to long-term and chronic health conditions, such as heart disease or diabetes.” (1).

However, other research and experience alerts us to some of the positive outcomes from gaming, including: enhanced problem-solving and critical thinking skills, sharper hand-eye coordination, improved motor skills, enriched social connections, magnified teamwork contributions, heightened concentration, and stress reduction.

But, like everything, healthy moderation is key, and knowing your child’s sensitivities and the culture you are working hard to establish in your family is paramount. While age-based guidelines exist, striking balance within your family is the true goal. In a recent post for Smarter Living in the New York Times, Melanie Pinola shares, “Balance for your family will look different than it will for your neighbor because every family is unique and parenting styles and values vary. In general, though, if your family can reap the benefits of technology without feeling many of the harmful effects and you feel confident in how your children are using technology, you’ve like found balance.” (2).

Here is a quick reference guide to help you craft limits for healthy gaming moderation throughout the lazy days of summer:

1. Appreciate the pros and cons

Gaming is not the static, uni-dimensional experience of days past. It is a highly stimulating, powerful avenue often utilized as a pathway for social connection. Learning apps and games often engage kids in educational content through novel, exciting methods. And, our kids’ futures are going to be impacted and reliant upon technology unlike ever before. However, young minds need active engagement in real-life, social experiences for brain growth and development. Without oversight and boundaries, kids can rely on screens for entertainment and social connectivity in ways that can be troublesome. Alternatively, in all the ways that online gaming can help kids connect, like all social media, multi-player gaming can easily be a source of bullying, social exclusion, or exposure to inappropriate content.

2. Assess your child’s reactivity to gaming

Some kids are far more sensitive to the realism and sensory stimulation of games. This kind of over-stimulation may be expressed in a myriad of ways, including irritability, increased anxiety, or sleep disruptions. As such, set limits accordingly and remember that your child’s tolerance levels may differ from peers. Evaluate the apps and games you allow your child to access, and ensure the content is both age-appropriate and actively engaging. Play alongside your child to ensure the content is as advertised and observe your child’s reactivity throughout the game.

3. Consider timing

In her blog, How to Handle Your Child’s Video Game Obsession Positively, Christy Stillwell discusses the value of timing. She suggests screen time in the morning is different from screen time in the afternoon and cites Dr. John J. Ratey of Harvard Medical School, author of the book Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain. Dr. Ratey’s research demonstrates that at any age, thirty minutes of exercise in the morning results in increased ability to sit still, focus, and retain our learning, resulting in enhanced mood and productivity. Keeping your kids active in the morning with a bike ride, walk around the neighborhood, or swim at the pool prepares them for a successful day, and this research indicates small physical breaks throughout any sedentary activity promotes increased brain functioning.

4. Create a plan with your kids

Come to the table with some general parameters you approve and invite your kids to share problem-solving strategies for establishing reasonable limits. Is there a time of day when other friends most often play? Are there time limits each day? Are games only accessible on the weekends? What level of messaging or online contact with others through gaming is safe? What are the circumstances or red flags you can all agree upon for when the console, tablet, or PC needs to be turned off? What games are approved for play? Establishing these agreements with your kids reduces the intensity of power struggles around limit-setting later, as your boundaries originate from a family plan you’ve developed together rather than a punitive consequence kids can perceive as arbitrary.

5. Use a neutral, concrete method of determining when time is up

This avoids constant negotiating with the common refrains, “Just one more minute mom, I have to finish this level!” or, “It’s a multiplayer game, I can’t pause it!” Time timers (available through many online retailers) or other visual timing devices work well, especially for younger kids who can visualize both time elapsing and remaining.

6. Develop tech-free family time

Create times throughout the day or designated activities when technology use is prohibited, such as during meals, study periods, or time for family fun. Consider your child’s sleep hygiene and turn screens and games off with enough time for kids to calm down their minds and bodies before bed. And, for older kids, consider having a place within your house where all tech rests for the night at a designated time each day.

7. Be consistent with limits and help your kids unplug

Christy Stillwell advises, “Don’t be afraid to say, ‘No.’ Even when it appears that there is nothing else to do, all their friends are at camp, and your house feels like the most boring place in the world, it isn’t. There are toys, books, a backyard.” Get your kids outside and active. Help your kids take advantage of this time to engage outdoors and in the precious imaginative play fundamental to brain growth and development. For more on the importance of getting your kids outdoors, read Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder, where the costs of diminishing contact with nature in our expanding digital world are explored by Richard Louy, author and co-founder of the Children & Nature Network (3).

8. Model healthy limits in your life

It is just as important to model balance in your tech use as it is to uphold boundaries for your kids. Find ways to unplug yourself from the accessibility phones, tablets, and laptops demand when healthy boundaries are unchecked.

9. Seek some help

If you believe your child is truly struggling to adhere to reasonable limits around gaming or isolates excessively through gaming, it may be helpful to consider what may be driving their choices. In these kinds of situations, talking to a professional can be helpful. Additionally, Sara Bean, M.Ed, offers the following guidelines for parents to determine when your child’s gaming has crossed an unhealthy line: https://core-docs.s3.amazonaws.com/documents/asset/uploaded_file/142305/Video_Game_Addiction_.pdf.

If you are looking for help navigating limit-setting around gaming or other challenges within your family, we welcome you to be in touch with us. We are all in this increasingly technological world together.