Author: Dr. Ryan Holley

Parenting can be challenging at any stage of your child’s life, and this is especially true early on. Being a new mom or dad is incredibly stressful at times, and it’s hard to let others know when you’re struggling. It may be even harder to ask for help.

If you have ever felt nervous about taking care of your newborn, ashamed for getting angry when your little one has trouble sleeping, or maybe just feeling paralyzed by the stresses of every day parent life, then this blog may be helpful for you. You are not alone.

Are you worried about how you’re feeling?

It’s common to experience a lot of strong emotions after your child is born. Life begins to change so rapidly, and much of your time is devoted to caring for a living-breathing-human-being, that is completely dependent on you.

Being a new parent can be such a wonderful and terrifying experience, all at once. You’re learning about feeding strategies and sleeping schedules, going to regular pediatrician appointments, and probably figuring out how to politely tolerate all of the unsolicited (but well-intentioned!) advice that friends and family frequently offer.

While new moms and dads may be more comfortable sharing how “happy” and “proud” they are of their baby boy or girl, it’s not unusual for many parents to become overwhelmed and stressed out.

When you have a new baby to care for, life can very quickly begin to feel chaotic and unmanageable. It’s also common to begin thinking that you’re a “bad parent” when or if things don’t go smoothly right away.

What the Research Says…

More than 80% of new parents will feel overwhelmed and/or depressed at some point. This is a common experience, and a natural response to hormonal changes in the body, as well as the stress that comes with adjusting to so many life changes. Mothers and fathers can be impacted, but from differing perspectives.

Overwhelming feelings of stress and sadness can first arise about 2 or 3 weeks after you bring your baby home, and typically last 2 or 3 weeks, unless additional support is needed.

When Should You Ask for Help and Seek Support?

It is important to notice when your stress levels get out of control. A few common signs and symptoms are listed below:

• You struggle to complete basic daily tasks.
• Not eating enough, bathing regularly, or taking care of daily responsibilities.
• Feeling overwhelmed for more than 1 month.
• Becoming preoccupied with all of the things that you think you’re not doing right as a parent.
• Thinking that you’re a “failure” when things inevitably do not go smoothly.

Common Fears that Overwhelmed Parents Often Report:

• Fearful that “something bad will happen” to your baby if you’re not always on watch
• Obsessive worry about the cleanliness of your home
• Concern that your baby’s food and toys being contaminated by harmful germs and bacteria
• Fearing that you may accidentally harm your baby in one manner or another (accidentally dropping them, getting into a car accident, etc.)
• Intense concern that your infant might stop breathing in their sleep which can lead to frequent checking at night or purchasing expensive infant safety equipment
• Intrusive thoughts about your baby choking on food, and being unable to save them
• Excessive fears about breastfeeding or nursing in general- “I’m a bad mom if I have trouble breastfeeding.”
• Feeling ashamed for getting angry or frustrated with your baby

Where to Get Help:

Contact Shared Vision’s Intake Line and schedule your initial appointment.
Intake Department (630) 571-5750 x224.

Based on individual need and goodness of fit, we will pair you with one of our talented staff members who specialize in parenting consultation and adjustment related challenges in adulthood. We also staff several Licensed Clinical Psychologists that specialize in couples therapy, should you and your partner want to seek support together.

Shared Vision also offers a variety of weekly psychotherapy groups for adults. These include: Women’s Support Group, Mothers Group, Dads Group, and a seasonal Circle of Security Parent Guidance Group.

Needing More Specialized Services?

Shared Vision also works very closely with NovaCare Kids Pediatric Services in LaGrange, Illinois. When additional support is needed for more specialized modes of treatment, we will put you in contact with NovaCare staff members that can help. Some specialized treatment areas include:

• Breastfeeding (Lactation) Consultation
• Sleep and Bedtime Support
• Occupational Therapists
• Speech and Language Pathologists