Author: Dr. Collin Shotts

As the holiday season of 2020 steadily and stubbornly creeps closer to us, there is reason to be worried about experiencing some holiday stress. The past year has been, well, what are all of the overstated adjectives we’ve all used at some point this year…relentless, frustrating, and unprecedented? No wonder why the feeling of braced concern so easily rolls into mind when pondering what the holidays for THIS year will be like. Right now, every family is making decisions and finding their own way through the many obstacles laid out between now and New Year’s. Whether it be all the risks and stressors related to COVID-19, the political tension across the country, for some financial concerns, and for many relationship struggles, there is plenty to feel stressed out about. So, how do we end the year on a good note?

The holidays don’t have to be overly-stressful even if we’ve had all we can handle this year. For many parents weathered and bruised from combatting internet modems and instructional packets during the great battle of remote e-learning, providing their kids with some holiday cheer and excitement probably sounds amazing. For those that have been glued to the television/computer screen studying a map of the Electoral College, or a map of COVID-cases, or both simultaneously, taking a short break to remember what matters most in your life may be the perspective shift to help get you through. And for those of us who have done so much work trying to stay positive and trying to keep healthy but are starting to run out of gas and could use a boost, the holidays may be a benefit. All it takes is a little calculated effort to combat the natural stress that’s headed our way.

So, in hopes of helping you reduce the stress of the holidays for any year, and yes, even this one, here are some tips to get you across the 2020 finish line:

Prepare

Throughout 2020 each of us has had to navigate the health concerns of COVID-19 that have disrupted our daily routines. It’s safe to assume that the holidays will likely propose similar obstacles. In some capacity, everyone’s plans will likely be a little different than years past, creating the need to be a little more flexible and prepared than usual. Whether your family get-togethers are completely different this time around or are exactly the same, making your decisions early will significantly reduce stress. Knowing where you’re going to go and who you’re going to see early on will reduce the time of uncertainty leading up to the holidays. Furthermore, knowing what you need to prepare for will give you more time to get organized and feel more in control. For those of us with children, getting the travel or no-travel details hammered out early can provide parents with some much-needed breathing room and afford kids more time to curb expectations. Planning ahead may also provide relief for many experiencing financial stress as creating a set budget early can offer more time to get creative with the gifts this year.

Share Your Experience and Listen to Others

Connecting with others often helps with stress reduction. Having your own space to vent and process the stress and difficult emotions in one’s life, particularly in a space like individual therapy, is often exactly what’s needed. Moreover, talking about the difficulties or concerns surrounding the holidays with friends or family may elicit some much-needed support and comfort as well. When seeking out a little shared empathy and understanding, we may find that building that connection helps us feel a little less isolated during the end of a rough, separation-filled year. Additionally, hearing about other’s experiences and stressors, even if they are completely different than your own, may remind you that we’re all just trying to get through the year as best we can. Nobody is doing this perfectly, and that’s definitely okay.

Practice YOUR Self-Care

Each of us has our own unique way to destress and rejuvenate. Knowing what works for you and developing a practice to stay mindful and flexible each day can be the preemptive life raft that saves you if things get overwhelming. There are hundreds of self-care activities out there. If you’ve yet to find what helps you the most, here are a few to try out:

• Get outside and take a brisk walk
• Make a healthy meal for yourself
• Do what you can to get good sleep
• Try some mindful meditation
• Stay in contact with a close friend or confidant by creating a daily check-in text or call time
• Read or re-read a good book
• Exercise
• Find a positive saying or mantra to focus on and repeat over, and over, and over again

Know Your Limitations

In preparation for the holidays, it’s always good to consider what sensitivities or vulnerabilities affect you the most as an individual. If getting overwhelmed with trying to keep the kids organized and calm causes you the most stress, try to prepare as much as you can and cut yourself some slack when things get messy. This year doesn’t have to be the family photo year. If you’ve been politically charged through a polarizing election season and Uncle Bernie or Aunt Kellyanne wants to finish the presidential debates at the dinner table, maybe repeat one of those mantras over, and over, and over again. Diving into the appetizing confrontation may not be worth the stress that comes with it after. And finally, if travel restrictions have you a little isolated and disconnected from those you would usually be with this year, set up some facetime calls or small, COVID-friendly, get-togethers with friends nearby so that the holidays aren’t too lonely.

Stress is natural and can motivate us to make changes that benefit our lives. However, when we try to look away from stress and deny it as it piles up, we set ourselves up for impending overwhelm. This year of endless adjustments and “new-normals” is almost over. So, take a deep breath, remember that you’re not the only one feeling stressed, and do what you can to take care of yourself.

From my family to yours, Happy Holidays.

Dr. Collin Shotts